Doorway to a Maze
by xxpoisonivyxx
Summary: Yami is the almighty Pharoah right? So why can't he get ONE little Yuugi to fall in love with him? shounen-ai. Part III of Filling the Void


Disclaimer: I don't own Yugioh! Jeez that phrase is getting annoying!

Ivy: Yup, here it is! Part III of "Filling the Void", and just as promised…here's Yami!

Yami: Where? *cranes neck to look around*

Ivy: Um…*holds out mirror in front of Yami* here!

Yami: *looks in mirror* Handsome fellow, isn't he?

Ivy: Uh…yeah

Bakura: *smirks* And smart

Yami: *Preens* I'm sure he's quite the ladies man

Ivy: You don't say…

Bakura: Don't you mean 'men's man'? 

Yami:…?I don't know…do I?

Ivy: -.-;;;

Ivy: As you can see, I've err…"invited" Bakura and Yami to help me out—

Bakura: Invited? *snorts* she put a sack over our heads and dragged us here!

Ivy: I did not! *mumbles to herself* I had help…

Bakura: Yes you did! Right, Yami? *turns to Yami*

Yami: *Strokes chin* You know, I would like to meet this "Yami"

Bakura and Ivy: -.-;;;

Ivy: Anyways…this time it's Yami's turn to say strange things without any reason! But…he does have a reason!

Bakura: *snorts* oh yeah, what is it?

Ivy: *whispers into Bakura's ear*

Bakura: That's a stupid reason!

Ivy: No it's not!

Anyways…here it is…

Yami: Where?

Ivy: Right after my thank-yous

Thank Yous:

Anime-Mastah: Thanx!! That WAS kinda my intention you know… 

Neko-chan: OMG! My first glomp!! *huggles glomp* but I suppose you're Neko-baka-chan-chan now… *confuses herself* Oh well! ^-^ *glomps Neko-chan*

Molly-chan the Anime/game fan: You want Yami? You got Yami!! Though I don't know if he'll live up to your standards… oh and about the continuation of my other story, I really don't know!! I really don't! But if you wanna email me with a suggestion… *wink wink nudge nudge*

Chibizoo: Yuppie!! You owe me a story now!! I'm glad you liked mine!! Wheee!!

Note: ~*~ means time change. It doesn't matter how much time.

Doorway to a Maze

~I love him~

I do. I will always love him. No matter what he says. No matter what he thinks of me, I will never stop loving him. And I will carve it into the walls for all eternity if I have to, just to prove it.

~I love him~

I found this room mainly by luck…I think. After Yuugi refused to return my love, I had wandered in my soul room for weeks, hardly ever coming out. And the worst part is, I don't think Yuugi minded. But that's a stupid thought. Just because Yuugi doesn't love me, doesn't mean that he doesn't care about me…right?

~I love him~

Where was I?…oh yes…I was roaming one day—or was it night? I can't remember—when I stumbled on this room. It has six sides, and is shaped like what Yuugi would call a "hexagon". The walls are soft, perfect for carving, and that is exactly what I did. And am still doing. 

~I love him~

Over and over again. That is what I carve. And maybe one day, Yuugi will stumble onto this room, and see the walls, written all over with my love for him. and maybe then, he will know how I truly feel about him. But that is a stupid thought. Yuugi will never come here, because Yuugi is avoiding me. I try to pretend that it's not true, but after that night two weeks ago, nothing is the same. Yuugi looks at me like he doesn't want to see me, and I…I've been avoiding him. Not intentionally, not on the surface, but I can't bear to look at his face, so innocent, and beautiful without feeling this sense of loss. A sense that I can't make right. 

~I love him~

I know what this room is. I've known for quite some time now. It's my heart room.{1} The room where the story of my past loves is written. Or—the place where they are _supposed_ to be written. But it was blank when I stumbled onto it. That's because I have no memories. No memory of my past loves. Or maybe I've had no other loves before Yuugi. What's the difference? He is the only one.

~I love him~

I do. I love him now and forever. I will never stop loving him, even though he never gives me second glance when I come out of my soul room, even when his friends give me sympathetic and pitying looks. They pity me! I can't stand that! Damn my pride, my foolish, foolish pride. It forbids me to try and change Yuugi's mind, and forces me to accept his decision.

~I love him~

I haven't slept since that night. I haven't left this room in three days. I've been afraid to. Yes, you heard right; the great and almighty Pharaoh, the Game King, the Spirit of the Millennium Puzzle, is afraid. Of leaving a silly room! Won't the tomb robber get a kick out of that? It's almost laughable! Ha! There; I laughed. The first time in…in a long time. Is it just me, or is my memory fading? How long have I been here? I…I can't remember. Or maybe I don't care. What's the difference? Does it matter? 

~I love him~

~I love him~

The writing has covered two walls already. Soon, my heart room will be covered with my feelings for my angel. My tenshi. Maybe, the heart room's walls will expand when I run out of room. I think that I would like that. 

~*~

My knife just dropped. Damn! It clatters onto the ground, and I stare at it dumbly. That wasn't supposed to happen! I bend down and pick it up. But I guess my reflexes aren't that good, because I grabbed the wrong end. I raise my bloodied fingers to my mouth, and suck on them. I lick away the blood, and am surprised at the sharp metallic, taste. So this is what blood tastes like…

Blood. It pools around the blade of my dagger. There's a lot, considering I didn't grab the blade that hard. But I bleed nonetheless. See Yuugi? I bleed; just like a mortal. If you cut me, I will bleed. Like I am right now. Why can't you see that I can be hurt, just like you? Why do you pretend that I'm not human? Why do you try to distance yourself from me, try to convince yourself that I have no emotions? I do. I can feel love, and pain, and hurt. I am feeling them right now. Why can't you see that? Why?

I pick up the knife, this time by the hilt. Blood glints off of the blade. Where is the light coming from? But there is no time to wonder. There is work to be done. The next line of my mantra gleams red.

~I love him~

~*~

I've been ignoring it for some time now. Trying to pretend that it's not there. Trying to imagine…but it's the real reason that I haven't left. That I've been afraid. The door. It is watching me. It has been here ever since I entered, sitting alongside the exit, surrounded by an air of mystery. I thought that I knew every inch of my soul room by now. I thought that I knew where each booby trap was, and where each hallway leads. I was wrong. I do not know where this door leads. And I'm afraid to find out. 

~I love him~

Silly Yami, afraid of the unknown. But it is true. Every time I leave this room, I am afraid, afraid of slipping, and instead of walking through the exit, falling through the door. No, The Door. With capital letters. It needs capital letters. I have strange thoughts sometimes…

~I love him~

I've been burying myself in my work, trying to ignore The Door. I can feel it watching me. A strange, tingling feeling at the back of my neck, like something is gazing at me. And of course, something is. The Door. 

~I love him~

Ha! I laugh. Ha! I laugh again. Doors do not watch, doors are not alive. They have no eyes, and no brains. I'm ridiculing myself. Doors are inanimate. So why does this one feel like it isn't?

~I love him~

~*~

The Door is still there. It is waiting for me to move on. It will open for me the second that my thoughts stray from that of my Yuugi and—_my_ Yuugi? That is not true. And it will never be true. But it might be a reality, one day, if I keep carving. Like wishing on a star, a shooting star. Like blowing out the candles of a birthday cake. Blow out the candles and make a wish Yami! Don't tell anyone what you wished for, or it won't come true. But I _did_ tell someone what I wished for. I told Yuugi. Oh I wish I may, I wish I might, have this wish I wish tonight…or is it day?

~I love him~

STOP IT! Stop looking at me like that, Door! What do you want from me? Are you waiting on my first unfaithful thought? Will you open up and swallow me? Yuugi…I…

~I love him~

I…love you…

~*~

Is The Door such a bad thing? It is solid, made of rock—even though I know that that is just an illusion. Is moving on from Yuugi such a bad thing? After all time, as Yuugi once told me—happy days—heals all. And it has been a long time. a long, long time. How long? I furrow my brow. I—I…don't know. But it has been a while. Would it be so bad to—No! What has The Door done to me? It's poisoned my mind! My own mind is working against me!! I'm tempted to take the knife and carve away these thoughts, but I stop myself. I'm not afraid of dying, just afraid that if I kill myself, there will be no one to finish what I've begun. There are only two walls left. I've already carved six of them.{2}

~I love him~

~*~

I'm the Pharaoh, dammit! I am all powerful! So why can't I make Yuugi love me? He is but one mortal! And I am the Pharaoh! The King of Games! And yet, I've lost at the game of love.{3} It would be so easy to just whisper a spell, just one spell, to make Yuugi love me. Then I need never worry again about heart rooms and silly doors. But I can't do that; of course not. I love Yuugi. And my pride won't let me change his mind for him.

~I love him~

Oh, Yuugi, Yuugi, Yuugi. Won't you come and visit me? I know in my heart that if you come, The Door will go away. Go away and never come back…

~I love him~

~*~

I love you Yuugi! I shout, my cry echoing around the room and bouncing back to me mockingly, sarcastically. And I do…don't I? Lately, I'm not so sure…maybe it is The Door, or maybe the carving, or maybe my own half-craved shout. But whatever it is, it's made me look at my relationship with Yuugi a lot more. 

~I love him~

We've never really talked to one another. I was always there when he needed to duel. I would take control of his body, and win. When he was in trouble, I would bail him out. And we were close. But I sensed—inside of course—a sort of _barrier_ between us. Even though Yuugi confided in me, he never told me anything personal, or about him. all his secrets were ones about his friends having crushes or the like. I knew things about him, what day his birthday lands on, what his favorite color is, what his favorite card is, but I don't know how he _feels_, how he feels about clouds in the sky, about the rain, or even, about me. We've never really discussed what we each felt like about the government, or slavery, and the only thing that we really have in common—besides the way that we look—is the fact that we both like Duel Monsters. So why am I so attracted to him?

~I love him~

~Don't get me wrong, his innocence _does_ make me feel like I have to protect him, but I feel like I have to protect Jou too—because he's not the brightest crayon in the pack—{4}but I'm certainly not _attracted_ to him. So why Yuugi?

~I love him~

…is it because he looks so much like me? Am I really that selfish? Loving someone because they look like me? If that's true, then it means that I'm not really attracted to Yuugi after all.

~I love him~

I do…right? The Door must be putting thoughts into my head. It _must_ be! How else can I feel this way? So confused… 

~I love him~

I lift the knife from the 'm' of 'him' and lower it to write upon the next row. But then I hesitate. From writing that one downward stroke, the beginning of the word, 'I'. Instead, I'm just standing there, with the knife raised above my head, looking like an idiot. Just standing there.

How do I feel about you Yuugi? Why does my heart quicken every time I think about you? But now…my heart just beats. On and on. Why?

The Door was mocking me. it knew something that I didn't. but now, I think I do know. Don't I?

Still, after all this thinking, I'm afraid to do what I must. Still just standing there. I'm still afraid of The Door.

…or is it the unknown?

No matter. I now know what to do. 

I press the knife into the wall, the stone sinking softly where my blade touches it. I write haphazardly, in big block letters, much bigger than any of my other writings.

~I LOVED HIM~

And I did. It seems so long ago that there was nothing I wanted more than to have Yuugi in my arms. But now…what do I want now? I don't know. But I'm hoping that the Door will tell me who I am. What Yuugi really means to me. Why I am here.

I let the knife drop, and watches as it falls to the ground, disturbing the dust around it, and observe aloofly as the dirt swirls around my ankles.

I gaze at the walls one more time, like someone who has accidentally stumbled onto these writings. I feel detached, like I'm not really here. And I'm not, am I? I'm dead, after all. I turn and head toward The Door. It opens up without a sound.

It feels welcoming, and not at all threatening. Ahead of me, I see smoke and darkness. There is no telling what I might find. But once I go in, there is no turning back. (AN: How cliché is _that_?)

I take a deep breath, and then I step over the threshold. I don't look back.

~*Owari*~

Notes:

{1}Soul room…heart room…get it? Get it? Oh nevermind. I thought it was clever…

{2}Yess…you are right. There were six walls when he started. But obviously the room has expanded. To an octagon. With eight walls. Duh.

{3}Ugh! How CHEESY _is_ that?

{4} OMG! Don't kill me!! I love Jou! I really do!! *sob*

Ivy: Ha ha! Finished!!

Bakura: Duh!

Ivy: SHUT UP!

Bakura: *smirks* Oh yeah? And if I don't? 

Ivy: *thinks* If you don't…*lightbulb appears over her head* If you don't, I'll make _your_ story rreeaallyy baaaddd.

Bakura: *gulps* I'll be good…

Yami: *points and laughs* Ha ha!! Think you're so tough now, tomb robber? 

Bakura: I wouldn't act so tough if I were you, pharaoh. I'm not the one so caught up in my love life that I become obsessed over a mantra!

Yami: Then I guess you haven't read _Ryou's_ tale, hmm?

Bakura: WHAT?

Yami: *holds up manuscript* Right here

Bakura: *scans paper* Oh my RA!

Ivy: ^-^;

Ivy: Yah, that story was sappy, and probably crappy too (Yay! I rhymed!)

Ivy: I'm using subliminal messages so you will review! Can you hear them? No, of course not; they're subliminal. But if you have a strange urge to comment on my work you know what to do. *stage whisper* Click the purple button that says 'go'!


End file.
